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Guru tip of the week:
For your Holiday weekend, I thought I would send you a couple of my favorite computer jokes.

Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea, It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight for it two say, Weather eye and wring oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long, And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong. To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should bee proud, And wee mussed dew the best wee can, Sew flaw's are knot aloud. Eye have run this poem threw it Your sure reel glad two no, Its letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me sew.

-Sauce unknown Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, If we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
-Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
-Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
-The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
-Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
-Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
-You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Happy Independence Day!